The Core of Doubt

Hey there,

If you caught my last post, you know we started to delve into one of the most notorious emotional and cerebral experiences: Doubt.

In case you  haven’t read it (yet- go give it a read!)  my effort was to shed light on the broader framework of OCD. I aimed to underscore the significance of recognizing that the crux of individuals' discomfort lies not in the content OCD produces, but in their own self-doubt. Hence, I propose that comprehending doubt in its multifaceted definitions and actions is one of the most pivotal tools for managing OCD, anxiety, and obsessive fears.

Let's begin with the history of Doubt. If you attempt to search for the meanings or definitions of doubt, you'll discover that the first response is actually responses— "doubt has multiple meanings." Just to name a few: Uncertainty, inquiry, indecision, apprehension, distrust, disbelief, suspicion, fear... and the list goes on.

What particularly caught my attention when I initially researched doubt is the origin and etymology of the word:

Originating from Latin's dubitare, meaning ‘to hesitate.’

In the OCD community, we frequently discuss being stuck, frozen, and at an impasse due to overwhelming discomfort. While I believe all these descriptions are incredibly apt, I find ‘to hesitate’ resonates with me the most. Because although all the others acknowledge the absolutely terrifying and painful experience of feeling ‘stuck,' recognizing obsessive doubt as a form of suspension in hesitation brings to light our very ability to take action. We are not immobilized in a space without the ability to move our legs. We are not encased in frozen ice that cannot be thawed. Although an impasse may present itself, it is not insurmountable.

Hesitation is a pause in movement, but that movement can be reinstated again, and again, and again until we are back in a fluid state.

So for any of you reading this wondering where I’m going with this, or feeling frustrated at the lack of strategy I’m presenting here, I assure you my lengthy discourse is indeed leading somewhere. Remember, keep yourself moving through this post and do not let doubt suspend you in hesitation over whether I’ll eventually get to my point…

See what I did there ; ) 

We know that OCD operates in a cycle: Trigger creates discomfort, which drives up the urge to complete a compulsion to manage said discomfort, resulting in short-term relief until another trigger occurs. Although OCD throws incredibly interesting, scary and tantalizing content at you, I want you to think of that entire cycle as a form of obsessive doubt. It is in that obsessive doubt that a person experiences dread, fear and anxiety, not the content that OCD emphasizes—that is the distraction!

Building on the strategy from my previous blog post of viewing OCD from a 3000ft view, I encourage you to begin see the big picture of obsessions and compulsions as a form of obsessive doubt that leads to hesitation. To combat this system, we need to make moves. Take action. And we must do that again and again until you are once again fluid and moved outside of suspended hesitation.

This is where we rely on the basics of Exposure Response Prevention; the action out of hesitation cannot comply with OCD's rules—i.e., compulsions. It needs to be different from what OCD demands of you. This is the point where I notice many individuals becoming overwhelmed and frustrated; ‘well, what do I even do’ or ‘I can’t resist the compulsion completely yet, it's too hard!’. When you’re in a suspended state of hesitation, going against the rules of OCD is going to feel excruciating because that is what is preventing you from moving forward.

So, do less.

Shrink what OCD asks of you.

Delay it.

Do something absurd in conjunction with its demands.

Movement is movement, folks! And whether it's the monumental leap of completely resisting OCD’s rules and rumination or a small, creative, and effective maneuver to do something different, you’re making movement, which is the antithesis of hesitation.

The core of doubt is hesitation, and the remedy is a new action of any kind. When we recognize what doubt is, how it is being exploited by OCD to keep us suspended, we can take this very normal human experience and shift beyond it.

Like I said in my last post, doubt isn’t all bad. Hesitation isn’t an ‘unhealthy’ action. Taking pause to observe what we want, what we care about and how we want to operate around those things is very important. Being suspended in hesitation is where doubt gets manipulated by obsessive fear and OCD. 

More on how doubt and values intertwine next time. Until then, let me know what you think about doubt, hesitation, and making moves! What would you like to learn more about?